


Doubts

by Sharinganblossoms



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 06:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20616845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharinganblossoms/pseuds/Sharinganblossoms
Summary: Mikasa hears something which makes her doubt Eren and his relationship with certain someone? Afterall it's not like he would ever reciprocate her feelings right?





	Doubts

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: Chapter 107  
Mikasa is a teenage girl here and it's natural to have moments of self doubt and jealousy. Please don't bash her character and no hate intended on any of the other character.

Mikasa forced a small smile as Kiyumi told her about the history of Shogun clan. She narrated about the greatness of her ancestor and the power they held as one of the prominent clans of the world. Truth be told Mikasa wanted nothing to do with this woman and the country she came from. Yes she has been a little excited at first by the prospect of meeting someone from her mother’s nation but she realised soon that the ambassador was more interested in the resources and the money it will gain from this alliance rather than the well being of Hizuru and perhaps herself.

She had no doubt that Kiyomi and her associates would make her a breeding livestock too due to being the last survivor of a royal clan. Historia has already been forced to birth as many children as possible in the next thirteen years. Something akin to rage passed her body seeing the condition of one of her friends. If everything went according to plan then Historia will be a victim of Ymir’s curse too and she will lose yet again one of her dear friends.

Mikasa finally decided she had enough as she excused herself and got up to search for her friends.

Her eyes wandered around the large hall looking for Eren and the others.

“That woman sure has taken a liking to you.”

She turned her head to see Levi standing by the pillar looking bored as usual. She scoffed as she looked back at Kiyomi.

“The only thing she has taken liking to is paradise’s resources.”

Levi blinked as he looked up at her.

“I would rather have you as a family then that money hungry crone.”

A small smile slipped by Levi’s lips at her words. She has never acknowledged before that they were distant relatives until now. Mikasa saw his amused expression and frowned.

“This is the first and the last time I am saying this. Stop smiling like that.”

He chuckled as he shook his head. She was too much like him, trying to act tough all the time except when it comes to her dear ones.

“I am still your superior brat. You don’t get to command me.”

Mikasa resisted the urge to roll her eyes as Levi walked away before she could retort him. She rounded the corner when she heard the murmuring of handful of men dressed in Paradise uniform. Few of the Garrison officials have also arrived with the Commander Pixis.

“I feel bad for the Queen. She has no other choice.”

“She is still only 17. Too young to get pregnant.”

“I wonder who she will choose to be the father of her kid!

“Whoever it is, will be a lucky fella to get to bang the Queen.”

Mikasa narrowed her eyes at the vulgar words as she decided to announce her presence to this filthy man. She noticed the empty glass and bottle of wine and realized they were all probably intoxicated.

“I can bet you hundred bucks it will be Eren Yaeger.”

She froze on the spot as the words registered in her brain.

“What makes you think that?”

“It is so obvious. He is always protecting her. Eren is the closest male friend of our Queen. She is also a beautiful woman. I am sure even Yaeger could see that.”

“Oh yeah, I have seen him sneaking into her house at couple of times all alone.”

“Mark my words fellas, they are probably already banging.”

They all burst out laughing as Mikasa stepped out from the shadow.

“I advise you all to shut up at this instant or the consequences won't be pretty.”

They all looked horrified as they noticed Mikasa’s presence. She was the second strongest soldier of Paradise after all and the most terrifying women they have ever seen in their life. They were sure she won’t hesitate to slice their flesh if needed to be.

“You are talking about our Queen. Next time a filthy word leaves your mouth there will be hell to pay.”

Mikasa left the dining area before they can apologize. She tried to take deep breathes as she walked back to where Hange and Levi were sitting. Eren visited Historia alone? Surely, they were lying right. Even if he did it wasn’t anything big, after all they were friends right? But Eren usually told her where he was going unless he didn’t want her to know. Her eyes searched for him but she couldn’t find him anywhere. She wasn’t surprised to find Historia missing too. They were most probably together. The notion made her heart heavy with fear as she tried to scold herself. Even if they were together, it’s not like it was any of her business.

“Mikasa what’s wrong?”

She glanced down to find Hange looking at her with curiosity. Levi was sitting across from her, eyes fixed on the food splattered at one corner of the table.

“I was just looking for Eren.”

“Oh Yaeger and the Queen are talking on the balcony right now.”

One of the Garrison officer answered for her he sipped on his tea. Mikasa tried not to react as she felt Levi’s eyes piercing her sideways.

“Of course, he did. If I didn’t know any better, I would say he liked Historia.

Hange deadpanned as Mikasa felt a sharp stab of pain in her chest. So not only those lowlife officers but her Commander thought the same.

"Oye Hange! Stop blurting out nonsense! You had too much to drink.”

If Mikasa didn’t know any better, she could have sworn Captain was trying to protect her. Protect her from what exactly. The fact that Eren possibly has feelings for some other girl. What was she expecting though, that he would one day wake up and realise he was in love with her? This wasn’t a fairy tale.

She settled down upon a vacant chair as she tried to push these thoughts out of her head. They were in the middle of potential war right now and she was behaving like a stupid teenage girl. She needed to be level headed. Before she could ponder any further, Mikasa saw Eren and Historia walking inside through the gigantic doors. They looked like they just had an argument. Historia was so small compared to Eren unlike her. She was also beautiful, everywhere she went people flocked to her. She was called a goddess by many. How can someone not love her? Heck even if she was with Eren, Mikasa could never hate her. She was such an amazing person. Mikasa tried to blink back the tears as Historia sat on the left corner while Eren occupied the seat next to Mikasa. In moments like this she needed Armin or Sasha. They both were still back on Paradise. They always knew how to make her feel better in any circumstance. Eren did that too but he was the cause of her pain right now. Mikasa couldn’t take it any longer as she got up from there without a word and hurriedly left the meeting hall.

She decided to head towards the guesthouse in which they all would be staying for their two days long stay. It wasn’t like anyone would care what she was doing anyways. After reaching back her room she changed into more comfortable clothes before heading to bed and dozing off.

Mikasa groaned as she heard the pounding on her door. She slowly opened her eyes she saw the dark outside her window. She must have been asleep for hours. Her cheeks were still stained with tears as she got up slowly. She wanted to go back to sleep but whoever has been knocking didn’t look like they were leaving anytime soon.

She let out an irritated sigh as she opened the door. Bright teal eyes glared at her as her heart hammered wildly. He was the last person she wanted to see. She would either end up yelling or crying if he opened his mouth. Why was he here anyways? He always left her alone when she wanted to be.

“What the hell Mikasa? I was two seconds away from breaking down the door!”

“Go away Eren. I have to sleep.”

He ignored her as he walked past her into the room. Mikasa folded her arms across her chest and tried to keep a neutral face.

“You have been asleep for nine hours already. I tried to stop you in the afternoon but Captain told me you wanted some rest.”

Mikasa didn’t reply as she turned away from him and walked towards the window frame.

“I had a feeling something was wrong when you left like that. You didn’t even ask if I ate anything or not.”

“You are not a kid Eren. I am sure you can take care of yourself.”

“Of course I can. But…it seemed like you were mad at me somehow.”

“I am not mad at you. Please leave me alone.”

Eren took few long steps before pausing in front of her as he looked at his childhood friend with an annoyed expression.

“Now I am sure you are angry at me.”

He tried to touch her shoulder as she flinched and stepped back.

“Don’t you have anyone else to bother? Go to Historia or whoever.”

“Why would I go to her? She is probably sleeping.”

“Well that haven’t stopped you before from meeting her all alone, has it?”

Mikasa immediately snapped her mouth shut as she looked away. Last thing she wanted was him to think she was spying on him.

“And just what do you mean by that?”

His voice was cold now as though he has understood the implication behind her words. Mikasa bit her lip as she dropped down on her bed. She had no energy to fight with Eren right now. If he wanted his relationship to be a secret, he could have been more discreet. She saw him looming over her before he dropped on his knees in front of her. He caught her hands in his much larger ones as she blushed. He was too close.

“Mikasa I asked you something. What did you mean by that?”

There was no point in stalling it as she sighed before glancing down at him.

“I heard some people talking that you…that you visited Historia sometimes when she was alone and well, you never told me or others about it so..”

She left the words hanging in the air as his eyes widened in shock before he inhaled slowly.

“Yeah I met her two times. I wanted to find out if I can see more memories of the past. Unfortunately, it didn’t work.”

“You could have just told me that.”

He sighed as he made soothing circles over her palm.

“I didn’t think it was such a big deal. I wasn’t sure if it would work again myself. I would have told you if I saw something in those memories again.”

Her eyes softened as she realized how much of a burden he was carrying. And instead of supporting him she was doubting his morals. Mikasa felt ashamed of herself as she shook her head.

“I am sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to such conclusions.”

“What were you thinking exactly?”

She gulped as she narrated everything, she heard this morning and the thoughts that wandered her mind. She didn’t meet his eyes once she was done and focused solely on the flimsy cloth of her pyjama. A heavy silence settled in the room as she wondered what he was thinking.

To her surprise she heard him chuckling as she looked at him. His eyes held pain as he spoke through gritted teeth.

“Just because I was protecting my friend doesn’t mean I am in love with her. I would have done the same for everyone heck even Jean. I don’t want any of my friends to die due to the curse. “

Mikasa nodded as she grasped his hands tightly.

“I also don’t want Historia to become a breeding machine. Those people want to take her freedom of choice. Ymir didn’t want this for her.”

Mikasa’s eyes softened as she heard her former comrades name. Ymir wanted Historia to live a happy and independent life. This was not what she had in her mind.

“I am sorry Eren. It was wrong of me to think that about you.”

He didn’t answer instead he got up from the ground and settled beside Mikasa on her comforter. He still held her hands as he turned her towards him, their faces only an inch apart.

“And just so you know Mikasa, if it had been you, those ambassadors wouldn’t have seen the light of the next day.”

His face held no compassion as he uttered those words without any remorse. Mikasa didn’t know if she should be flattered by his words or terrified that Eren wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone if the situation needed it to be.

“Don’t say things like that.”

She murmured as his green eyes bore into hers and he gave her a bittersweet smile.

“As long as I am alive Mikasa no one is taking you away from me. You can tell Miss Kiyomi that you won’t be going to Hizuru. I won’t let her use you for her personal gain.”

“I won’t leave you Eren. I promise.”

He smiled slowly as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against her. She was a fool to ever doubt Eren. He might not know it yet but Eren loved her just as much as she did. They belonged together. And she would stay by his side until the moment they both were alive.


End file.
